do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
