maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
