Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Randomize
