i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
