is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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