i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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