I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
