the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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