Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
