i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
