Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
