how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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