Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Randomize
