I'm so fucking centered right now
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
