My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
