it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
