over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize