There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
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