She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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