just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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