There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
