What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
