I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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