What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
