I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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