don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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