No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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