I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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