Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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