I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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