Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Your cock deserves a montage
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
