I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
