I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
