I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I love having hate sex.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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