Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize