id be glad to
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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