It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize