In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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