your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
did i just pee glitter
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
