Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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