yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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