I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
