At least make sure they are 18
Why
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
