What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
