We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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