ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
