If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
