Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
