are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I want a musical about memes.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
