A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
