there was a trapeze. enough said
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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