Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
