dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
