Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
