Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
There's always time for handjobs
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
