It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
