Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Just high enough for therapy.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
