I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
