any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
