Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Found your dick twin last night
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
